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Writer's pictureRobbie @ UncleBod

The most unhealthy 'healthy' habit in America: Dieting


Perhaps people genuinely want to be told what they can (and can't) do.


NO POTATOES EVER!!


THROW AWAY THOSE MOOSETRACKS IN YOUR FREEZER!!


Eat something GREEN at every meal and BOOGERS DON'T COUNT!!


If that structure works for you, or if you thrive most through misery, be my guest. And if you can't get enough deconstructed quinoa kombucha as it is, you're probably already 'healthier' than the rest of us, so just sip your elderberry baby vomit and let the children talk.


I've tried every diet known to humanity over the past 20 years, and most of them worked to varying degrees - for a while. The fun ones, the sucky ones, the juice ones, the diarrhea-from-drinking-mouthwash ones. All the diets.


But even the 'fun' ones that promise you can eat "as much as you want" as long as you follow the rules (low-carb/Atkins/Keto) get old fast. As delightful as bacon-wrapped cheese-bacon sounds, I can only stomach it for 30-35 consecutive meals before I only want it 10 more times.


I'd last 3-4 months on a good run of a given diet, lose a little weight, then wake up in a tunnel outside Elberton covered in confectioner's sugar and what I hope was butter. And worst of all, the weight ALWAYS came back.


Despite what I told myself, the reason for my failure wasn't laziness or a lack of discipline. I failed because I was swimming upstream. Forcing myself to be miserable in the name of being "healthy" wasn't sustainable, especially not for the mediocre results I was getting in return.


Generally speaking, green veggies are a good example of 'healthy foods'. But if you despise greens and still try to force-feed them into every meal because your 'diet' says so, you're gonna fall off the wagon quicker than when my brother got kicked by that horse's dad.


Is that healthy?


Greens are considered "healthy foods" for good reason: they're low in calories and rich in vitamins and minerals. But if you'd rather eat a Bugdick Benedict than a Brussel sprout, you can still snag the essential nutrients your body needs - just buy a superfood green powder drink, suck that slop down once a day, and stop trying to impress your vegan coworker. She's still working things out with Kyle anyway.


So whether you're looking to lose weight, "get toned", or beef up - if you've been eating "clean" but haven't noticed the visible changes in your physique you were hoping for, chances are you're too focused on WHAT you're eating rather than HOW MUCH you're eating.


I prefer to eat reasonable portions of the foods I enjoy, and I'm a firm believer in the cheat meal/day for the brave souls who can make it all week sans Dorito. Learn to treat yourself whether you deserve it or not. You'll earn it sooner or later.


And sure, I try to use healthier ingredients when possible (I've got a running list of healthy substitutes for tortillas, breads, pasta, sauces, sweets, etc. that I'll be glad to share with you), but I'm a chicken nugget/pizza/pancake man at heart and I finally don't care who knows it.


And since I dumped "dieting" and started being smarter about my calories & portions a few months ago - I feel 7 again, I'm the leanest I've ever been, and peanut butter fudge!



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