Over the past 24 months, government and military officials have essentially admitted aliens are REAL, but society's been so tied up debating what type of wieners (or lack thereof) our beers are allowed to have that nobody wants to talk Martians.
But what if I told you one simple lifestyle change MIGHT be the difference in surviving the inevitable invasion?
***This is all speculative: I don't know anything about extraterrestrial life or what their intentions for humans might be; I'm simply trying to physically prepare myself and others (with exercise) to survive the most likely scenarios:
TOUGH CUTS OF MEAT = HARD TO EAT
Whether we're talking cattle, deer, pork, or homo-sapien meat, everyone sans the Liver King agrees that tender, juicy cuts are the most desirable. The more lean, hard muscle fiber you can develop through resistance training, the less likely you'll find yourself on the menu for Prime Rib Tuesday at Planetary Hollywood.
FEATS OF STRENGTH
The last time this happened, ancient humans had to henge stones & build pyramids to demonstrate our strength and impress the hovering overlords. We passed the test once, but I fear the majority of modern society will volunteer to be mummy-wrappers instead of pyramid-builders because they can't lift the heavy blocks, plus Brendan Fraser's cool again.
ANAL PROBE RESILLIENCE
There's nothing I can add to the conversation/infatuation that's developed around UFO abductions and butt probes, but it might not hurt to get really good at squeezing your glutes for long periods of time.
PREVENT INSTANT CARDIAC EVENTS
We're all understandably gonna flip out when scenes from Independence Day begin playing out in real-time, but there's no need to develop Pullman-ary hypertension and fall over dead. If you've prepared your mind, heart, and body for this watershed moment, the only remaining item on your checklist should be hiding the cats.
PROCREATING A HYBRID SPECIES
It seems obvious the aliens will want to create a hybrid-superspecies with us, and if your reproductive hormones levels are low, you might miss the cut. Lifting weights can naturally increase these hormone levels, regulate your energy/stamina, and give you the confidence to tell that special space succubus how you feel.
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